PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH DIALOGUE

Nama adicha athu mottai,
Athuva vilundha athu sottai!


'Dye' ! na mandayila podurathu,
'Die' na mandaya podurathu


Thanniku lla kappal pona jolly...
Kappalkulla thanni pona gali...


Odambula ethanai cell irundhalum athula 'simcard' poda mudiyathu
Calenderla naama enna thethi kizhichomngarathu mukkiyam illa. Kizhicha
thethiyila naama ennatha kizhichomngarathu than mukkiyam.


Pallu valina palla pudungalaam aana
kannu vali na kanna pudungamudiyuma. .. :)


elephant mela namma ukandha savari
elephant namma mela okandha oppari!!!!


Kaakaa kaa ..kaa nu katharadhala adha kaakaa-nu kupidarom.. Aana maadu
maa .. maaa nu katharadhala adha mama-nu kupidamudiuma


Running racela kaal evalavu vegama odinaalum, !
Price kaikuthaan kedaikkum!!


ULAGAM THERIYAMA VALRRAVAN VEGULY
CRICKET THERIYAMA VILAYADURAVAN GANGULY


Sodava fridgela vacha cooling soda aagum, Athukkaaga atha washing
machinela vacha washing soda aagumaa!!



kovil maniya namma adicha saththam varum...
aana kovil mani nammala adicha raththam than varum....



South India-la Narthangai kidaikkum.
Aaana, North India-la Southangai kidaikuma?!


Pant Pottu Muttipoda mudiyum aanaaa
muttipottu pant poda mudiyumaa... ........


Today's punch:
Thanneera Thanninnu sollalaam
Panneera panninnu solla mudiyuma??

Urgent vacancy for the post of Girl Friend

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.

Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
? 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
? bike rides each duration 1 hour
? trips to National Highways
? 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
? Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
? Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
? 2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
? Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining the probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Plz NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search,,,,,, , never ends!!

Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. To the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected

Tamil Actor Vijay Jokes

Records:

Russians: We are living in 48 deg cool temp we are great

Africans: We are living in 48 deg heat v are great

Tamilan: We are living even after seeing 48 vijay films. Goyala yarkitta......



Bus comedy:

Doctor - Ennappa eppadi adi pattuch
patient - Bus-la porappa 'vijay' padam pottanga,
Theatre-nu ninachu velia vanthutten
Doctor-??\

Chess comedy:

Ajit - chess vilaiyaada povom varingala?
vijay - neega pou ground la wait pannunga naan shoe pottutu varean
vijay rocks

National anthem:

Viajy to prabhudeva: Indha patu superah Iruke idha Namba Padathula
Remake panalama
Prabu Deva: Dei nasama ponavane Adhu Desiya Geetham da

Diff between kamal and vijay

Difference between kamal & vijay:
Kamal acts in 10 diff role in one film(original).
but vijay acts in same role in 10 different dupping films.

Director comedy:

Director comedy :

Director - Vadivelu podalama, Illa karunas podalama

Vijay - Comedy kuda nane pannuran sir

Director - Comedy neenga than panringa nan hero yara podalamnu think panran


Doctor vijay:

Dr. vijay sslc goes 2 a shop & shouts where is the free gift with this
mineral water.
Seller: There is no free gift with this
Vijay: But on the lable its written bacteria free. I am doctor u can't cheat me
Enjoy non stop doctor vijay comedies

Driver

Driver - Sorry sir petrol mulusa dry aagidichi , inimel oru adi kuda munnadi nagarathu
Dogtor vijay - Hmm.. sari reverse edu veetukavathu pokalam


Exam hall:

Ajith & vijay writing semester exam:
vijay : Thala konjam answer kattunga
Ajit: Hindi paper da idhu unnaku tamil exam da
vijay: Parravala adha kattunga na tamila remake pannikuraen
Thala: Idhuku picha edukalaam
vijay: yevalavo panrom idhu panna maatomaa......


Exclusive vijay comedies

Exclusive vijay comedies:
1. How a police can wear boot cut and have style hair?(pokiri)
2. How to go to final match after losing semi finals?(Gilli)
3. How to become boxer in 1 day & 1 song? (Badri)
4.How to come alive even after dying?(puthya geethai)
5. And finally having a long jump record for a half a KM in kuruvi....
Still to be continued :-) enna koduma sir idhu....


TV special:

Customer. Intha TV velai enna?

Salesman: 1,00,000 sir

Cus: Appadi enna special?

Salesman: Tv la "vijay" program vanda aduve thana vera channel maridum

Suntv:

vijay : Namma suntv mela case podanum

Manager : Ethukku sir

vijay : Ennoda aduthapadam hit aagumnu sonnatha, vilayatu seithil la pottu irukanga ....

Apology Letter

A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing...

_________

Deer sur,

If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker.

This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly,but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment.

I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun.

I putted a complain on station masterji.

He said I to go to the lady clerk.

At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun.

Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun.

Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life.

I hope u will look into explain my hole story after,and late me joint first.

I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your responsement.

May God blast you!"


Yours awfully,
yadav

U can't Stop Laughing

This is

............ ......Ultimate. ... ............ ..

I bet u can't stop laughing after reading this.

These are Girls profiles taken from SOME MATRIMONIAL SITE. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

~ : Disclaimer : ~
I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...

- Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore .. if u like me u welcome to my heart...

when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya

i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Wut Homework?)

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a
first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.
Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)


i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY

,THEY ARE

1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION

3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.


i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate


iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married


my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes


iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.



hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'.
i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...


Iam Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.

Most Hilarious Reply to a Matrimonial Ad

Folks, just read it...you will go crazy and will laugh and laaugh and laaaugh! Enjoy!!! Cheers, SR Hilarious Reply to a Matrimonial Ad in a Punjabi newspaper!!


Dear Madam:

I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Amritsar . Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce alot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking (only a Kingfisher in the evenings) but I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,

Yours and only yours,

Choudhary Bash Warraich,
born by mother in Bhindra di galli and become big,
and moneyed in Amritsar, Punjab

Latest Errors from Windows Vista

The following are new Error Messages seen in Windows Vista:

1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

4) Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

6) Close your eyes and press escape three times.

7) Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

8) This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

9) Windows message: "You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain?"

10) This is a message from God: "Rebooting the universe, please log off."

11) Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

12) BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.

13) COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup and press any key.

14) CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)

15) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

16) Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

17) Runtime Error 6D at 417 A:32CF: Incompetent User.

18) Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

19) WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER.

20) User Error: Replace user.

21) Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "OS/2 found: Remove it? (Y/Y)"

22) Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic. Evidence Nuker Software will permanently delete everything you want erased.

Some Really Funny Ones

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.'

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.'

Dear God, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods;
Because , if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

Current Affair Cartoons

Should Have old me Earlier

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor and said:

Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know very well Doctor and that is why I have come to you only...

Doctor: I cannot, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first:

Doctor: OK.. Tell me.

Man:

I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.
I get up in the morning like a horse
I go to work running like a deer
I work all the day like a donkey
I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.
I wag my tail in front of all my bosses
I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.
I am like a rabbit before my wife

Doctor: are you FROM Mumbai ?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are FROM Mumbai. Come man, no one can treat you better than me..

Serious Family Problems

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American, "You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.

We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems..